The Case of the Strangers

STIMCKAN: WHO keeps sending me places?!

Stimckan had been sent to eight places.

STIMCKAN: I didn't pick a SINGLE one.

Correct.

STIMCKAN: Then WHO did?

Strangers.

STIMCKAN: ...Strangers?!

STIMCKAN: Then I'm opening a CASE.

Case file one.

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to: the moon

STIMCKAN: AAAaaaaaaa...

Stimckan had been sent to the moon.

STIMCKAN: Whoa.

On the moon, everything weighs six times less.

Including words.

STIMCKAN: Hey! Come back!

Someone had been here first.

Where next?

STIMCKAN: Your call.

Low gravity. The dust would not settle.

STIMCKAN: Thumbprints. Somebody TYPED me here.

STIMCKAN: The @...

STIMCKAN: It's a FINGERPRINT.

It is a username.

STIMCKAN: A username IS a fingerprint. It's how you leave a mark.

That was almost wise.

Sender number two.

Previously, on YOUR PROMPT.

PROMPT: > could u add a spaceship with some stickmans?. it would be interesting

A spaceship. As requested.

COMMS OFFICER: HI! (in Wingdings)

That is not how plurals work.

STIMCKAN: It is now.

COMMS OFFICER: 👍 (in Wingdings)

CAPTAIN: All aboard!

CAPTAIN: Warp speed, Mr. Consolas.

At warp speed, letters stretch.

STIMCKAN: I don't stretch.

Much better.

Next stop?

STIMCKAN: Where were you when I got sent to the MOON?

CAPTAIN: I was invented in 1932.

STIMCKAN: Next.

ENGINEER: I was compiling.

STIMCKAN: Next.

MORALE OFFICER: I was at a birthday party!

COMMS OFFICER: (in Wingdings)

STIMCKAN: ...Write that down.

Nobody can.

The interrogation continued.

STIMCKAN: Nobody sleeps until—

Six hours. No suspects.

COMMS OFFICER: INCOMING! (in Wingdings)

PROMPT: > stimckan goes back to earth

CAPTAIN: Set course: Earth!

Earth was getting bigger.

Not sharper. Just bigger.

MORALE OFFICER: Are we there yet?

COMMS OFFICER: Are we there yet? (in Wingdings)

CAPTAIN: ...are we there yet?

STIMCKAN: Wait.

Earth was on the background layer.

It always had been.

CAPTAIN: Is that safe?

STIMCKAN: No.

STIMCKAN: 480p again... seriously?

Stimckan was now a background character.

MORALE OFFICER: Are we there yet?

STIMCKAN: Yes.

STIMCKAN: Nobody on the ship did it.

STIMCKAN: So the sender is...

STIMCKAN: ...OUTSIDE.

Outside the video.

It was backwards.

STIMCKAN: For YOU.

STIMCKAN: ...Anyone?

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to the pool party!

STIMCKAN: I don't do parties.

Every pool party needs a pool.

ENGINEER: on it.

MORALE OFFICER: CANNONBALL!

The pool was transparent. Completely.

CAPTAIN: How's the water?

MORALE OFFICER (from below): There's no water!

MORALE OFFICER (from below): It's great!

COMMS OFFICER: Wheee! (in Wingdings)

CAPTAIN: After you.

STIMCKAN: No.

STIMCKAN: ...Seriously?

Stimckan was no longer 480p.

STIMCKAN: ...Nice.

He was, however, in the deep end.

CAPTAIN: Where do we land?

STIMCKAN: You tell me.

STIMCKAN: "11 hours ago"...

STIMCKAN: "1 hour ago"...

The comments came from different times.

STIMCKAN: They're not ONE person!

They are not.

STIMCKAN: It's a GANG.

It is a comment section.

MORALE OFFICER: WOOO!

STIMCKAN: ...Why do they CARE where I go?

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to the zoo

MORALE OFFICER: A ZOO!

COMMS OFFICER: Wow! (in Wingdings)

The zoo was built by a computer.

It had never seen an animal.

ENGINEER: It's a feature.

CAPTAIN: Where are the visitors?

STIMCKAN: Wait. We're the exhibit?

Stimckan went to the zoo. Nobody said as a visitor.

STIMCKAN: Not for long.

MORALE OFFICER: BOO!

The stickmans escaped.

So did the bug.

STIMCKAN: ...It's on your screen.

CAPTAIN: So... where to?

STIMCKAN: YOU.

The bug was put in parentheses.

STIMCKAN: Anything in parentheses doesn't count.

STIMCKAN: Now. Spit it out.

STIMCKAN: Evidence.

It was released. On a technicality.

STIMCKAN: It ESCAPED!

STIMCKAN: I'll be watching you.

PROMPT: > Make him dance

MORALE OFFICER: Him?

ENGINEER: Him.

CAPTAIN: Not me.

The prompt did not say who "him" was.

I am the narrator. I do not dance.

MORALE OFFICER: GO GEORGE!

Thank you.

STIMCKAN: Don't. You. Dare.

ENGINEER: He's GOOD.

CAPTAIN: Since when?!

Nobody knew. Not even him.

Oh no.

STIMCKAN: Your turn?

STIMCKAN: Instagram?!

STIMCKAN: They're on OTHER APPS?!

STIMCKAN: That's out of my jurisdiction.

You do not have a jurisdiction.

STIMCKAN: I have a HAT.

The case had gone cross-platform.

STIMCKAN: ...Two apps. Two hats.

MORALE OFFICER: Can I have a hat?

STIMCKAN: Get your own case.

PROMPT: > Can you send him to the forest after space vid?

STIMCKAN: ...Space. Again.

The comment said: after space.

Then, the forest.

ENGINEER: I'll leave breadcrumbs.

CAPTAIN: Where's home?

Birds do not respect navigation.

STIMCKAN: Wait.

STIMCKAN: ...Follow that bird.

Home had just flown away.

CAPTAIN: Where's it going?!

STIMCKAN: Wait.

STIMCKAN: Where IS home?

Stimckan tried to remember home.

STIMCKAN: The moon. A ship. A pool. A zoo...

STIMCKAN: I've never been anywhere longer than a minute.

That is what a Short is.

STIMCKAN: Seven strangers. And not one of them let me stay.

MORALE OFFICER: THERE! THE BIRD!

STIMCKAN: ...Later.

One million subscribers. Somewhere in the future.

STIMCKAN: ...How far in the future?

Far.

Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine.

CAPTAIN: One more.

STIMCKAN: ...That was for later.

It could not be faked.

MORALE OFFICER: We need a real one.

STIMCKAN: ...Just one more?

The future. The case was still open.

STIMCKAN: Then let's close it.

None of them had ever met him.

Because they wanted to know what happens next.

Home was never a place.

It will not happen again.

Sender number nine.

And sender number ten...

Case closed.

Rude.

The next case is over there.