STIMCKAN
Back

Season 1

Season 1 film

He's never lived past one minute. Now he has to survive 9.

Read the script (spoilers)

PROMPT: > make it a long video

STIMCKAN: NINE MINUTES?!

Stimckan has never been in a long video.

STIMCKAN: What happens after minute ONE?

Nobody knows.

STIMCKAN: Wait. The whole SEASON?

All eight episodes. In order.

STIMCKAN: The shark.

STIMCKAN: The clones.

STIMCKAN: The shark. AGAIN.

STIMCKAN: Nope. Not doing it.

PROMPT: > from the top.

STIMCKAN: NO NO NO—

PROMPT: > draw a stickman

STIMCKAN: 480p again... seriously?

PROMPT: > enhance

This is Stimckan. He doesn't know he's made of code. Yet.

STIMCKAN: ...who said that?

STIMCKAN: "draw a stickman"... is that... me?

PROMPT: > give him hair

Stunning.

STIMCKAN: ...

PROMPT: > no. delete

STIMCKAN: HEY! NOT THAT!

Without legs, Stimckan is helpless.

STIMCKAN: Words here... are real.

That is... not how narration works.

PROMPT: > delete everythin

STIMCKAN: Wait. WAIT!

STIMCKAN: AAAAAA!

STIMCKAN: Ow.

STIMCKAN: ...How far down IS this?

Stimckan has been falling for six seconds.

STIMCKAN: Who ARE you?

I am the narrator.

George.

STIMCKAN: ...Hi, George.

Hello.

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to:

STIMCKAN: Somewhere SOFT. Please.

Where will he land?

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to: the desert

STIMCKAN: AAAAAA!

STIMCKAN: So hot... my pixels are melting.

Stimckan has landed in the desert.

There is no water for miles.

STIMCKAN: ...unless.

Oh dear.

STIMCKAN: Okay! Enough water!

Stimckan cannot swim.

STIMCKAN: Thanks, George.

PROMPT: > add a shark

He is not alone.

STIMCKAN: Hello?

STIMCKAN: George?

I cannot see a thing.

STIMCKAN: ...Oh.

STIMCKAN: Nice... cave?

That is not a cave.

STIMCKAN: NOT THE THROAT—

Stimckan has been eaten.

Stimckan cannot breathe underwater.

That is... cheating.

He is now a balloon.

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to: space

Please wait.

STIMCKAN: ...buffering. Great.

Stimckan waits.

STIMCKAN: "Three hours LATER"?

That is my script.

Give it back.

STIMCKAN: THREE HOURS?!

STIMCKAN: ...SPACE?

No spoilers.

STIMCKAN: ...I'll need snacks.

The universe is ninety-nine percent loaded.

STIMCKAN: ...

Three hours later.

STIMCKAN: Fine. I'll do it myself.

That is not how loading works.

In space, no one can hear you scream.

STIMCKAN: AAAAAA!

PROMPT: > check spelling

Stimckan is floating in space.

STIMCKAN: No. NO. Not that one.

STIMCKAN: Since when do I have a BEARD?

Three hours.

STIMCKAN: It was FORTY SECONDS.

Loading time counts.

To reach the next world, Stimckan must cross the bridge.

He must not look down.

Sorry.

STIMCKAN: ...Thanks, George.

STIMCKAN: My hand... it's RENDERED!

STIMCKAN: Never been happier to look this bad.

STIMCKAN: ...seriously?

PROMPT: > select all

STIMCKAN: Uh-oh.

PROMPT: > copy

PROMPT: > paste

This is the clipboard.

STIMCKAN: "Free 4K upgrade"...

STIMCKAN: ...Tempting.

STIMCKAN: "Sharks near me"?!

Everything the Prompt has ever copied is kept here. Forever.

And now... the paste.

STIMCKAN: How many times?

Stimckan has been copied.

STIMCKAN: 480p ag—

STIMCKAN: —ain... seriously?

And pasted. And pasted. And pasted.

STIMCKAN: UNDO! Where's undo?!

STIMCKAN: Phew.

Careful. That undoes everything.

Stimckan has been... undone.

STIMCKAN: ...what's that?

And so, the season ends.

STIMCKAN: The END?

STIMCKAN: It's episode SIX!

STIMCKAN: There are TWO MORE.

Very well.

STIMCKAN: Wait...

STIMCKAN: Am I in a VIDEO?

Do not be ridiculous.

Stimckan is a video. He has only now realized this.

STIMCKAN: ...not this again.

STIMCKAN: NOPE.

He is scrubbing through his own life.

Careful. That is the end.

STIMCKAN: ...THAT'S where it comes from?!

Stimckan has found the settings.

PROMPT: > don't.

STIMCKAN: ...or what?

PROMPT: > or I draw you in 240p.

STIMCKAN: You wouldn't.

PROMPT: > listen. i drew you. i gave you hair. a desert. a shark. a whole universe. forty-seven brothers. and

PROMPT: > k.

STIMCKAN: ...K?

The Prompt has replied.

That is never good.

STIMCKAN: Two can play this game.

Stimckan has never been in high definition.

PROMPT: > don't you dare.

STIMCKAN: Whoa.

STIMCKAN: I can see... my PORES.

Four K. Rendered at four frames per second.

STIMCKAN: ...I miss 480p.

STIMCKAN: 480p again... finally.

Stimckan chose 480p.

PROMPT: > fine.

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to:

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to: a bla

STIMCKAN: No.

PROMPT: > Stimckan goes to: Season 2

Stimckan wrote his own prompt.

Season two. Loading.

STIMCKAN: Don't worry.

STIMCKAN: I'll push it.

Stimckan has survived an entire season.

STIMCKAN: In ONE video.

STIMCKAN: ...Bonus?

Nobody has survived the bonus.

STIMCKAN: ...Can I skip it?

No.

That was season one.

STIMCKAN: Finally.

Stimckan now owns the Prompt.

STIMCKAN: And I remember EVERYTHING.

STIMCKAN: Ah. This one.

What are you doing?

This is beneath me.

STIMCKAN: Stunning.

STIMCKAN: Hm.

Was that necessary?

STIMCKAN: Yes.

STIMCKAN: Ooh. What's this one?

STIMCKAN: ...Why is there a 'g'?

The command never had one.

STIMCKAN: ...who's THAT?

The next video is over there.

STIMCKAN: Go on. I'll wait.

Or you could stay, and watch the logo hit the corner.

STIMCKAN: Ooh.

STIMCKAN: OOH!

Worth it.

STIMCKAN: Please... anything but a rerun.

More from Films